Nuddy Leitrim

I woke last night in deep despair, a nightmare in my mind,
I was naked as a newborn babe, there were no clothes to find.
I felt the squeeze of September's breeze on my downbelow:
I was at the nudist conference in dear old Drumshanbo.

I nearly fainted as I looked and took in the whole sight,
I wished I was in Kerry where they dress by day and night.
I thought of Sheemore occupied by nudists al fresco
and how Finn MacCumhail might turn and rise and head back to Glencoe.

And then I realised that 'twas no dream about undress
and of all the naked naturists there I looked the very best.
Then I raised my glass to Lough Allen Spa, the only place to go
if you want your ass uncovered where the Shannon waters flow.

(The Irish Naturist Association is celebrating 50 years of naturism. They are booked into the Lough Allen Spa in Drumshanbo, Co. Leitrim. This poem can be sung to the tune of Lovely Leitrim.)

Féileacán

Transparent wings
of coloured scales,
daring swings
and downward sails
are a far cry
from butterfly.

The stain
of a festival
in the Irish name
fits the bill.
Is teideal an dáin
é féileacán.

Multiple kaleidoscopes
this year:
Reds, whites, heliotropes
career
as Red Admirals
and Painted Ladys
pied en diagonale
in dainty batterie.
A Peacock proper
displays no feathers
and a Small Copper
Monets the heathers
like a still life variation
of a Speckled Wood's confrontations.

A winner adjective
is army as given
to a caterpillar collective:
Larvae security driven
to maturity perfective.

(Explanation: We are currently enjoying an abundance of butterflies, notably more than last year. This August was the first time (in my memory, we definitely had even more butterflies around when I was a child)I saw a Small Copper which, although I have tried to explain otherwise, my children think is a baby butterfly.)

Dead Lucky

Don't get sick in Brazil
unless you're set for death.
And maybe make a will
asking for a double check.
Pack up all you'll need;
toothbrush and a towel,
something nice to read,
and a suit for being laid out.
You won't need to buy
a body bag yourself,
if they think you've died
they'll get one off the shelf.
And they're very good
at stuffing orifices tight,
they'll pack the cotton wool
and tie your left leg to your right.
Be sure to have a saint revered
to help you fight your corner:
Irma Dulce played a blinder here
once the funeral was paid for.

(Explanation: Last month in Salvador, Brazil, Valdelucio Concalves woke up in a body bag after doctors in the hospital he was in declared him dead. Inspired by: www.mirror.co.uk article)