Saturday 5 September 2015

The Ape Of The Locks

I felt renewal in my brain from giving up shampoo.
Imagining a jewelled mane, I vowed to see it through.
Three weeks on and satisfied, but heeding oily tresses,
keeping to the plan to hide if grease became excessive.
All was fair 'til I was pawed by a monkey on my head.
He twisted first and then he clawed and moved me to see red.

I roared for my husband,
"there's an animal in my hair."
I thrashed and bashed and crashed and lashed
and the bloody thing stayed there.
At one stage I felt it,
not an ape, but an epic nit.
More finical to get than a simian pest
and stubborn as sh*t!

My daughter, just turned six, walked in,
ignoring the conflict with the giant tick,
took water from the fridge and petitioned
for a previously denied wish,
"Can we have crisps?"
"Get Daddy," I hissed.

I nearly had it down, I could see long black legs
but it raced back to my crown and I thought it may lay eggs.
Then I got it out, praying it was a one and only,
I laced it to the ground and saw a hideous, unholy
extended beast, inky black.

When my other half arrived the 'roach arched up its back.
"It's a scorpion" I cried,
corrected by a chuckling spouse,
holding his sides,
"A devil's coach horse," he pronounced.

A monkey is superior
to things of mini status.
It can't invade my nose or ears
or hide within my mattress.

And so concludes my brief undertake
for no shampoo and no non-primates.

(Explanation: This is a true story. And I cannot tell you how much I hate creepy crawlies!!! About a year ago, I woke in the middle of the night with a feeling that a needle was being pushed into my forehead and, it turned out, there was an earwig sitting up there pincering me for some sort of insect laugh. I hate them so much and, obviously, the feeling is mutual!
Back to the poem: I was trying out giving up shampoo by washing my hair less often and using healthy, natural alternatives when I did. There is a blogger to blame for all of this (hee hee): I read this post at Kate Takes 5 and felt inspired, it really does make sense to me. I had washed my hair four times with beaten egg when the incident in the poem happened. I was on about day four after the last wash and my hair was getting oily but I accepted that that might be part of the process of my hair getting healthier.
Anyway, my hair was actually kind of manky when the devil's coach horse (oh, why does it have to be called that?) took up residence. However, my husband did say that he could have been in my hair for weeks...aaaaaaaggghh and then he said "maybe he likes eating egg" which drove me straight to the bathroom and my shampoo. I may try again in the future...or I might shave my head.

The monkey thing is a joke in our house. When I hear my husband or one of my children shouting, "yuck, look what I found" I always say that I hope it's a monkey and not an insect. Petrified though I am of monkeys, at least one couldn't hide on you.

There are two references in the poem that I think I should mention:
1. The title is a reference to Alexander Pope's The Rape Of The Lock
and
2. The opening line is a reference to Emily Dickinson's I Felt A Funeral In my Brain.
I love both poets and both poems.)

Tuesday 1 September 2015

A Shining Light

We know that you are falling,
we know that you're not safe,
we know that you are calling,
we know that you're displaced.

Liam Neeson, or his equivalent,
being the hero on the screen:
It's us he represents.
We hope the slave is freed,
the persecuted saved,
the danger fleed,
the exploited spared.

Like coffin ships never bore
Irish trips to death or foreign shore.
As if it's not something we know.
Work permits and unofficial go
hand in hand in our past
and even now we ask for more
for our undocumented class.

We commit to judiciously go
hand in hand with the rafts
and now let us show
welcome, welcome in, at last.

My youngest wants to be a magician.
Or a cowgirl. Or the two.
These are the things I listen
to from my girls. Not cries for food
that may never come. And it
is nothing besides dumb luck
that their lives are full of health and fun,
as is the right of every child on earth.
I can say with certainty
that my children will never be
gasping for their last puff
in the back of a locked truck.
Lucky, lucky me:
A total accident of geography.
From the same misadventure
their progeny may not be secured.

If I ever have to seek
basic needs
please see me
please feed me
and then permit me to live in peace.
I won't have fled my territory
to upset your serenity.

I will have fled in terror.

When they read about our days
let it be that history says
that we were all in the one boat,
that we made a way to float,
that the movies were real life,
that Europe was a shining light.

Let it record at every page:
We caught you. You were safe.

(Explanation: I started writing this on the night of 27th August 2015 after I had caught the report of the deaths of a number of people in the container of a lorry abandoned near Vienna. This is only one of the many sad, sad incidents in the waves of people fleeing their own countries to get to Europe. In the report they couldn't be sure how many bodies there were, because of the amount of time they had been decomposing. Twenty was the initial estimate. In the last few days the number has been given as 71 people. This is beyond shocking.
It is purely an accident of geography that we are alive, well and safe while others hand over exorbitant amounts of money to traffickers in efforts, often failed ones, to just be allowed to live. It's disgusting.
I find it offensive when I hear the voices of my privileged peers (and we are privileged just to be living here), saying these people should be kept out. I really hope Europe can help, that we give food, shelter and dignity. I think we have to help. I hope that, someday, those same people will be empowered to tackle the corruption of their native countries.
On the 27th August, after the news report I heard Angela Merkel say a few words. I thought she spoke very well, with genuine compassion. As far as I can tell, Germany already offers a lot of assistance to refugees. I hope we'll be able to say the same about Ireland).